You have fun with your new best buddy? Hey, it's your fault your dad likes me.
You dated idiots your whole life.
Well, he was right about one thing.
I am married to a stud.
Really? Yeah, I felt so bad about selling you out, I thought I would maybe make it up to you.
(both chuckle) (moans) (stammers) Wait, wait.
I mean, I want to, but I'm not supposed to for the next three days.
(groans) All right, well, guess I'll just read a little and then-- I don't know-- go to sleep.
Really? That's what you're sleeping in? Oh, you want me to take it off? No.
Well, then pipe down and let me read my comic book.
Penny, I-I know what you're doing.
Just please stop.
Ooh, listen to this.
Take that, Batman.
" Thanks again for doing this, guys.
- Of course.
- So excited.
I'm glad you came.
Howard made it sound like this wasn't your kind of thing.
He did say that, but here I am.
So what does he know? I'm sorry.
I just (scoffs) didn't think you'd enjoy plummeting to the Earth at 400 miles an hour.
I love going fast, unlike Grandma here, poking along at 70 miles an hour.
Am I right? I've always wanted to do this.
I'm an adrenaline junkie.
Roller coasters, snowboarding, dating men who bathe with their dogs.
It was during a drought.
I'm a thrill-seeker, too.
I've had to pull back since I became a mom, but I'll still jump on the back of a grocery cart and just roll through the meat section.
And I'm married to her, which is quite the ride.
(exhales) (sputters) (clinking) Amy? There's something out here.
Just trap it under a cup, and I'll be there in a minute.
I'll try, but it's Leonard.
What? (grunts) Well, what is he doing here? I told you, if we left pizza on the counter, we'd attract something.
Oh, hey, guys.
I used my key.
I just needed a place to crash.
Is everything okay? Yeah, I had to get out of the apartment.
My wife kept trying to have sex with me.
Why are you trying to avoid having sex? Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
I was talking to Leonard! Well, I-I have to go to the clinic for Zack and Marissa on Monday, and I'm supposed to save myself until then.
Sounds like maybe Penny's not totally on board with that plan.
Well, she said she was.
But she also said I looked dope.
Honestly, I don't even think I looked fly.
So you're willing to go through with this, even though she clearly has reservations? If she has a problem, she should say something.
She tried to seduce you.
If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is.
Penny doesn't want to have kids.
I respect that.
But this is my chance to leave a part of me behind.
Okay, but this isn't gonna make you a dad.
It's gonna be their baby, not yours.
Although, someday, if that kid wants to know why he's short, nearsighted, and asthmatic he may hunt you down.