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Hello, this is Olivia. She’s 17 now, and a year ago, her father tried to force her into dating a boy. How could something like this happen in the 21st century? Listen to her story and find out. Her father was a businessman, and he usually spent most of his time either doing his job or thinking about it. He wasn’t a bad father, just...a busy one. He was passionate about his job, which allowed his family to live comfortably and to have everything they needed or wanted.
Olivia’s father was quite old-school in his views on family roles, so his mother was a classic housewife, who’s only job was to keep their house in order and cook their meals. In fact, she didn’t really need to do that, because they were always able to afford hired help, but her mother insisted. And her father was happy with that, because everything was, as he used to say, “as it should be”.
Olivia was, of course, extremely grateful to him for everything that he did, and understood that they wouldn’t be able to live as well without him. So of course, she always tried to give something back, by helping her mother for example. She also wanted to become successful in her own right, like by being a good student, rather than just be a lazy person who lives off her parents’ money.
Her father had a friend who was in the same line of business as he was, and while they weren’t openly competing, it was clear that there was an unspoken rivalry between them.
Her dad didn’t like that, and wanted to somehow unite both businesses, but it proved to be a difficult task, because his friend didn’t really want to work together. So her father had an “ingenious” idea: if Olivia married his friend’s son, Stanley, then all of them would become one big family, and Stanley could become the boss for both companies and unite them. The whole thing sounded insane, especially the fact that her father assumed that she couldn’t one day become a businesswoman herself simply because she was a girl.
Instead, he would constantly talk about how wonderful Stanley was – he was an athlete, a straight A student, with a great sense of humor.
It was extremely awkward – and for Stanley, too. He was a great guy, but she wasn’t interested in him, and he wasn’t interested in her. In a way, they understood each other because they both didn’t like each other in that way.
After he tried to bring them together a few times and failed, she thought he would calm down, but no. He was a businessman, and he didn’t like to accept failure, so he started to talk about it with her mom, so that she would try to persuade her that it was a good idea.
She tried to explain to them that it just didn’t work like that – it wasn’t just that she didn’t want to date Stanley, he wasn’t too keen on the idea either. Besides, Olivia didn’t even know what his father thought about all of it, or whether he noticed it at all.
During the summer, her dad prepared his final plan. He bought them all tickets for a holiday at a prestigious resort, and then he was like “oh, a lot of work has piled up, but we can’t waste the ticket, so let’s invite Stanley instead!”
He probably thought that a resort would create a romantic situation, and they would suddenly fall in love, like in romantic comedies. By now Olivia was fed up with it all, and she decided to talk with Stanley. He said he didn’t even want to go to the resort and he had recently found a girlfriend, so all of it was just weird.
All of this sounds very bizarre and even insane, right? Well, her dad had always been a bit eccentric, but this – this was just crazy!
Stanley said that if she was bothered by it, he could talk with his father and tell him what was happening. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to ruin her dad’s friendship that could yet lead to the partnership he wanted, so she said no, let’s not do that just yet.
Instead, she told her dad that she didn’t want to go to a resort and that she would rather spend her summer working. She explained to him that she wanted to become successful, and she was ready to work for it. She wanted to prove to him that he didn’t need this partnership or Stanley to make his business more successful, because she would work hard to help him herself in the future, and getting a job now would be the first step towards that.
He was furious. He accused her of trying to ruin everything, and that his plans would make them richer than ever. At that point Olivia gave up on trying to persuade her father round to her point of view, and she exclaimed angrily: “I’m not a tool for your business, I’m a person!”
They went to the resort, and she started working. Olivia no longer cares if her parents continue to act that way. If she needs to work while studying at university, she’s confident that she’ll be able to do it. It’s better to live by your own rules and have a hard life than be someone else’s tool for making money.
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my boyfriend is a straight A student and is very respectful, nice and a very good influence on me because every night he makes sure that i have all of my school work done to me and my dad hates that i’m dating him because he doesn’t want me to date😂
i'm srry but her parents r pathetic. i'm shocked that even the MOTHER ignored her! their reaction is so childish! she stood up for herself and, instead of opening their eyes and even commending her for sticking to her guns, they decided to give her the cold shoulder and neglect her! i hope things smoothed over by now, but, if it hasnt, she should live w/ other family or report their treatment to some authorities because that isnt right :/
Your father did not realized that people nowadays who is in arranged dating would have the power to take advantage of you. So if let's say Stanley acted like your previous high school crush Joe, your dad won't care because he is planning to force you into dating him.
Child marriages are common:
On a recent day, eight community elders sat in a [refugee] camp, some chewing khat, the narcotic leaf favored by most Yemeni men. Seven have married off their girls this year.
Even Salim, the elder who worked at the charity, is preparing to marry off his two daughters, ages 13 and 14. "I want to feel secure of their futures, if only for economic reasons," he said.
Mohammad Ali al-Ansi married off his two girls, ages 13 and 14, in April. "My heart is bleeding inside, but I was forced to do this," he said. "I have no job. Its difficult for me to feed my 10 children." He received $1,600 in dowry for each of his girls, he said. But after paying for their weddings and meeting other debts, the money has nearly run out. "If things get worse, theres no doubt Ill marry off my 12-year-old daughter," Ansi said.
More on Ansis 14-year-old daughter Fatma, married to 21-year-old Zaid:
Fatma spent her day cooking and washing clothes for her in-laws. When asked the name of her husbands family, Fatma didnt know it. She remembers her father telling her and her sister, Amal, that the family needed money. She remembers that Amal was in tears because her new husband was taking her to another region. The two sisters have not seen each other since their weddings.
"I am too young to be married," Fatma said. "I want to study. I want to learn how to write. I have sacrificed for my family," she continued, her voice dropping to a whisper.
Minutes later, her husband arrived at the tent, and Fatma went silent. He said Fatma was "at a good age to marry." When asked if she could attend school, he shook his head no. "Shes a little too old for school," he said.
Female sexual freedom among the Tuareg : Flora Drury has written up the sex habits of the Saharas Muslim Tuareg people based on the work by Henrietta Butler. Some excerpts:
Their men became known as the blue men of the Sahara because the dye from their distinctive indigo scarves rub off onto their faces giving them a mysterious air. The Tuareg evoke images of a long forgotten and romantic age.