August 2011. Gus, a 19-year-old home-schooled Christian from Jolie, Illinois is trawling Facebook. He’s just recovered from a debilitating bout of depression, and he’s looking for someone to talk to. Through an online personality test, he finds a match: Jiyun, a 20-year-old from Korea, who moved to New York City with her family for her brother’s cancer treatment. Gus messages her, and they begin chatting.
“I started to fall for him when I saw these tagged videos on Facebook,” Jiyun reveals in Nancy Schwartzman’s short documentary, xoxosms. “That was my first time actually seeing his face. I was like, ‘Oh, wait, he’s really cute. I like his voice.’” Jiyun found herself attracted to Gus’s innocence, living a secluded life in a small town; he was fascinated by her urban lifestyle and international background. Over the course of two years, their correspondence would bloom into a long-distance relationship, archived in instant messages and video-chat footage. Read more: https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/579751/xoxosms/
"xoxosms" was directed by Nancy Schwartzman. It is part of The Atlantic Selects, an online showcase of short documentaries from independent creators, curated by The Atlantic.
they would look fine as an old couple.
what matters is if he is kind and gentle and loving and honest, decent, giving, courageous open to grow.
same goes for her.
not how they look now nor in 35-45 years.
they were in love!
I cannot believe the Atlantic would have a video with an incredibly incorrect clickbait title. Seriously... Do they know online dating has been around for decades already? I was totally hyped expecting like an IRC romantic adventure like the one I used to get my first girlfriend, you know... Actually before online dating.
For those curious to know, these are the last two paragraphs from the article:
"Sadly, as with most first loves, Gus and Jiyun’s didn’t last. But Schwartzman believes there’s a place for relationships that never transcend the physical limitations of the internet.
“Maybe some relationships work better online,” Schwartzman said. “They can feel really supportive and romantic, and just enough of what you need. Maybe they don’t ever have to move offline.”"
+Bluemoon in the Daylight I had a lifechanging connection with a guy I used to skype with. He made an impact in my life but he never once expressed the desire to see me. We were friends for some years, but never really pushed it past friendship. When I got into a relationship after a while, he blocked me from skype and hangouts. It felt really awful.
This brings me back, yet not necessarily in a good way. There's something very lonely and unfulfilling about the days of early internet dating. I'm only speaking for myself, I'm sure others had a better time with it, and even moved on to long term relationships. All I got out of it was a sense of being disposable and useful for a time.
I met my first serious bf through Yahoo chats back in 1997. We were together for about a year & still are friends to this day. Back then it was a lot more unusual to say you met your bf/gf online, but now it's pretty much the norm. Shoot, my cousin even met her husband via Match.
Child marriages are common:
On a recent day, eight community elders sat in a [refugee] camp, some chewing khat, the narcotic leaf favored by most Yemeni men. Seven have married off their girls this year.
Even Salim, the elder who worked at the charity, is preparing to marry off his two daughters, ages 13 and 14. "I want to feel secure of their futures, if only for economic reasons," he said.
Mohammad Ali al-Ansi married off his two girls, ages 13 and 14, in April. "My heart is bleeding inside, but I was forced to do this," he said. "I have no job. Its difficult for me to feed my 10 children." He received $1,600 in dowry for each of his girls, he said. But after paying for their weddings and meeting other debts, the money has nearly run out. "If things get worse, theres no doubt Ill marry off my 12-year-old daughter," Ansi said.
More on Ansis 14-year-old daughter Fatma, married to 21-year-old Zaid:
Fatma spent her day cooking and washing clothes for her in-laws. When asked the name of her husbands family, Fatma didnt know it. She remembers her father telling her and her sister, Amal, that the family needed money. She remembers that Amal was in tears because her new husband was taking her to another region. The two sisters have not seen each other since their weddings.
"I am too young to be married," Fatma said. "I want to study. I want to learn how to write. I have sacrificed for my family," she continued, her voice dropping to a whisper.
Minutes later, her husband arrived at the tent, and Fatma went silent. He said Fatma was "at a good age to marry." When asked if she could attend school, he shook his head no. "Shes a little too old for school," he said.
Female sexual freedom among the Tuareg : Flora Drury has written up the sex habits of the Saharas Muslim Tuareg people based on the work by Henrietta Butler. Some excerpts:
Their men became known as the blue men of the Sahara because the dye from their distinctive indigo scarves rub off onto their faces giving them a mysterious air. The Tuareg evoke images of a long forgotten and romantic age.